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Second Guess

Writer's picture: Alicia CaraAlicia Cara



The lights are dimmed, music playing

Everyone's waiting, but I can't walk in

Because I know what this night means

I thought I was looking forward to it

I was so sure of my choice before I left

But now that I'm here, I can't help second-guessing


I was so grateful when you took me in

Offering a hand, sweeping me off my feet

I used to think; the crimson moon brought me to you

But maybe it only brought me here, in truth

And I know the question; you want to ask me

But I don't think I can give you the answer you need


I thought my heart was yours; I was so ready to give it

But without my notice, someone else stole in and claimed it

All the time we spent getting to know one another

I spent blind to what was growing under all the while

And what seemed perfect on paper falls by the water

When it's he and I, who are always together


I'm not the only one blindsided

I think all this caught him off guard too

Like a fire newly lit, slowly accepting it

It was hard to predict, from our first meeting

But first impressions can be deceiving

And now I think he'll be the one, I miss the most by leaving


After all, what do we really know of each other?

Our conversations have only ever been shallow

Barely deep enough to allow anything to grow

Still little more than the strangers we were a month ago

And everything seems perfect if we never look beyond the surface

But the truth is, it all still leaves me feeling, adrift


I don't belong here, for more reasons than one

The worlds we inhabit are not the same ones

It's a fluke they aligned this long

When he and I are the ones with everything in common

While watching the discrepancies between us grow, I wonder why you love me so

It could be my table manners, for all I know


And the pet names, you bestow, on me

Only widen a distance, which should be non-existent

If I return my feelings in full

I wouldn't find myself growing closer to another

Unable to help myself from following after

Like a rope, returning to an anchor


I was certain, I was certain, of the choice I made

But now I can't bring myself to stay

All the while pretending, nothing has changed

It's time I return home, to live with everything I've learned

So, when the crimson moon paints the sky again

Maybe I can come back with an answer; I won't have to second guess





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